Always a Bridesmaid and Never a Bride and That’s Just Fine with Me.

Happily ever after, hmmmmmmm. With the rate of divorce increasingly on the rise and hovering around the 50% mark, you have to wonder if marriage is really the answer for modern day humans in relationships.

Just for fun, I thought I’d sit back and recall the number of times “Always a bridesmaid and never a bride” applied to me. I was a bridesmaid for one girlfriend, two of my female cousin’s and a flower girl for another female cousin many, many years ago. I’ll count the flower girl gig as the first time I was a bridesmaid since the role is very similar in this context as it relates to this little story. The memories of being a bridesmaid are somewhat faded as they all happened so many years ago. However, amidst the blur, I do recall asking myself if “this was for me”. As in “Is marriage for me?” not as in, “Is dressing up in taffeta and having my hair in a BUN what I want in my life?” And I can’t recall ever thinking or feeling that it was something that I wanted to have in my own life. At least the pomp and circumstance part of “getting married”. That was never of great interest to me. I guess I’ve always been just too practical.

I’ve never really expressed my disinterest in a wedding, or marriage for that matter, to any of my extended family members.  I believe many members of my extended family might assume that I am somehow dissatisfied on some level with my life because I’m not married. Or that they feel sorry for me because I’m not married yet at the age of forty-eight. My immediate family, however is very clear that I don’t feel the “need” to be married and since I am past the child-bearing age, the assumption that I won’t have kids is very clear in their minds.

I have considered marriage briefly in the past, but those thoughts were fairly loose and fleeting. The kind of thoughts that don’t quite take a grip on you and slither away into the ethers easily. At this point in my life, it’s about the level of commitment that two people have for one another. The marriage part is not important to me. It’s the love that is important. I don’t need a man or woman to “take care of me” financially at least, even when life throws financial challenges my way. And I don’t necessarily need to be married to anyone to feel fulfilled or loved in relationships.

I’m just happy to have had and to have wonderful loving relationships in my life. Each relationship enriching my life and contributing to the ups and downs that life is made up of.

I am perfectly happy being a bridesmaid and possibly never a bride. Oh, wait a minute did I just say that I’d be happy being a bridesmaid again? Oops! Well okay, as long as I don’t have to wear taffeta, high-heels, and my hair in a BUN! Now, what’s up with that? Why does wearing your hair in a bun make your hair-do more formal? See… I really have no business walking (slowly) down any aisle as a bridesmaid or a bride. Maybe running down an aisle away from everyone would be more appropriate for me?


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